Wow… wtf.

Finally after 28 years of my life.

what do i get?

Drunk and pissed with myself. For not having the love of my life with me.

Dunno how i suppress myself to not contact her. Love of my life. Finally found someone. And i fucking lost it due to hoping to give her a better life and fussing over a job that retrenched me.

Unlucky? no… i fucked myself up so much my wife left me. WTF… wtf… wtf….

I only need my wife to make my life complete. To have a motive. To have a reason to work forward to. And the girl i chose… to be my wife… left me. I FUCKED myself up.

What am i doing. where am i heading.
i’m just working aimlessly living my life as it should have been. Waiting for a girl… No more grand children to tell the love of my life story to.
“hey kids… i love your grandma… You know how i got her? hahaha… I used my means and ways just to steal her first kiss. She was the shyest girl I’ve ever met. Having leave the country for 1 week in hongkong. She would miss me so much even before she left. Such a girl. Damn. And that’s when i had her first”

WTF am i talking about. I love her. No matter how many girls i see. No matter how many people i talk to. No matter what whjere people bring me to. I cant get her out of my head. I cant do it. I cant do ANYTHING. I’m… crazy.

I’m drunk… I think. I love her only… definitely.

Meihui,

I miss you. A lot. I do not have the courage to call you nor do i have anything for you that may benefit you. I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you. I have nothing to offer but my real and sincere love.

Only hope one day you’ll accept it and return my feelings.

Come back…